MySpace Blog Posts 2010

And so now all the writings I have written on myspace have found their way here and myspace can disappear…

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Believe in me
Category: Writing and Poetry
I believe

I believe in the power of what and who I am – not just in what I do.

I believe in the frailties that make me, me. The echoing empty places that frighten me. The shallow ditches overflowing with useless bile. I believe in these less than desirable aspects of me.

I believe they create the capacity to extend into hope and joy and past the boundaries of my smallness.

I believe in the capacity of my deceit to teach me to be humble. To teach me to cry and laugh and exist in the madness which surrounds and sometimes engulfs me.

I believe in the strength of my soft body to carry me through spiteful smiles and hateful teeth.

I believe in my mistakes because they create my opportunities.

I believe in my ability to live and to offer myself to beginning again when and how the world asks of me.

I believe

Thursday, May 06, 2010
bruce
how it manages to hurt so far traveled down that road
folding you into new joys with your old sorrows curved around you

he misses you
and I miss you

somehow this dent, this half formed moment in our lives has carried us into grief deeper than a lifetime should be able to teach us

and for what

to say you have been? and you are?

that’s not enough for me.

I will lift my voice gently now and bravely and sing you a song of crossing. of slipping over softly into warm gently places beyond fast cars and metal breath.

you’re an empty ache.

We’re a full family. even with that empty ache

Friday, January 22, 2010
thick and hot and wet
Current mood: sad
Category: Life

bitter coffee with no milk
lost hope and shadows underneath wet dripping noisy eyes
that’s it
that’s where we sit
thick and hot and wet

he’s an absence in your arms
beneath your hands, an echo of silk
eyes that can’t talk, yet do
a couch dented memory
just once more

just once more
one more sit, stay and joyous shout
one more dirty smiling small boy
one more traveling epiphany

a small boy says with crying eyes ‘I guess we’ll just have to go back to our old lives’

I can’t.
I can’t undo a love. A memory. A change.

we loved you little brown dog. I wish you hadn’t been so smart

Monday, January 11, 2010
Be better
Current mood: calm
somehow I will learn to be brave.

and I will learn to hold my tongue and my other means of making words until i have all the information. I will be patient and i will wait.

I will do all those things and more – someday. When i am better at being me.

And i will love deeply and lift my voice where it is needed and place my hands each exactly on the right spot of stained and aching skin stretched across the back of the world.

i will be breathless.

I will have deep heart.

I will be better.