So this is the plan #poetry

So this is the plan,
To channel all this
This hurt
This rage
This deep
Into words on a page
Words on a stage
For you here
Tonight
Beating
Breathing
With me
Ready

Pause
Stop
Ice
Sharp and pointy
On the edge of losing
All
Everything
Nothing
Something
How far forward
How far back?
Have you got my back?
Really?
You just saying that?
Spilling that?
Breathing that?

I’m thinking.
This
Feeling. Ripping, tearing, soaring and smothering
Breaking you
Breaking me
Somewhere in between

Left unsaid. Trickles on eyelids. Losses on fingernails.
Want to scratch your eyes out
If only
If not
You could see
The irony
And I’m laying
You’re not.
I’m crying
You’re not
You’re a wind up doll on a left over crusade
And I’m the casualty, the victim, the one who got in the way

This is family. New family. Made family. Forced family. I know I’m kicked. Not welcome. Left overs you didn’t want
But here I am
Ready to rise.
To dance
To love you
Like this
Over and over and over and over and over
Thank you