I’m making a new thing. #elusivemaybes

Every show performed in a different lounge room. A one woman theatre experiment asking “How can we feel so alone surrounded by people who love us?”

 

“The sound of a baby crying

The sound of a kettle boiling

The sound of a dog howling

The sound of a closing door”

Image: Sing Me Your Sorrow, presented at Crack Theatre Festival 2013

What: Another Elusive Maybe is a small-scale performance experience designed for the intimate surroundings of actual real life lounge rooms. Limited to a maximum audience of 8 people per show, the experience incorporates soundscape, poetry, performance and live text message conversations.

Through the lens of parenting a small child, this is an art experience about loneliness and love and community and how we don’t ask for help. Parents of small children in particular will resonate with Another Elusive Maybe, though anyone who has ever felt lost and conflicted about their choices may also see themselves reflected.

Another Elusive Maybe is an independent project by South Australian artists. There’s no budget and no funding and none of the artists are getting paid.* This project is an experiment. Exploring a number of ideas about the kind of work I want to make in the future. As such this iteration is unlikely to be fully resolved and will see future development. Audiences at Adelaide Fringe will be the first to get an invite to future developments. So come and see inside the process of making new things!

*even selling all the tickets won’t fully cover the cost of fringe registration, equipment and fuel!

Who:

Another Elusive Maybe is a biographical musing (by me obviously) in collaboration with Ryan Morrison. Ryan and I met through our shared experiences with Riverland Youth Theatre (though we didn’t engage with RYT at the same time, we stumbled across each other later) and we’ve collaborated on a number of projects over the last five years. Most recently I loaned my voice to Ryan’s ‘Shapes in Deep Shadow’, a multi-modal, meta-fictional work Ryan completed as part of his Creative Writing Masters. Experience it here: https://shapesindeepshadow.wordpress.com/

Ryan is a clever multi-form artist playing in the writing and sound/music space mostly. He also does a rad daily comic over at http://onlythetruest.com/

I’m assuming if you are reading this here, you already know me, but if not, more about me and who I am here: https://alyshaherrmann.wordpress.com/about/

and ye olde bio here:

Alysha Herrmann is a proud parent, regional artist and advocate working across disciplines in the arts, education, community development, social justice and social enterprise. She is a writer, theatre-maker, cultural producer and the current Creative Producer of ExpressWay Arts. Alysha has won numerous awards for her work using the arts to interrogate and explore community concerns and aspirations including most recently the 2015 Kirk Robson Award, 2014 Channel 9 Young Achiever Arts Award and was named by SA Life as one of SA’s fastest rising stars under 30 in 2014. Alysha also tweets tiny poems as @lylyee and blogs about living a creative life at https://alyshaherrmann.wordpress.com

 

Curious? Come and see the thing, these are the deets:

 

When & Where:

16^th Feb, 23^rd Feb, 8^th March

All shows 8pm

All tickets $15

Book at https://www.adelaidefringe.com.au/

*location will be emailed in the week before selected performance

Running time approx. 40minutes

Bring your mobile phone and keep it turned on. Free cookie at every show.

 

And if you can’t make the Fringe dates, rustle up a group of friends (5-8, including yourself) and book the show for your own loungeroom in March/April. Contact me directly for this pressurelands AT me DOT come.

xx

 

 

Save

Elusive Maybes #makethings #lovearts #elusivemaybes

*

Tied in/ an untangled maybe/ shouting, whispering, pleading/ maybe I will, maybe I will// #tinytwitterpoem #makethings #lovearts

I should most definitely be sleeping.

I want to be sleeping.

It’s 1.23am and I’m exhausted and have to be up by 6:30am for a full day.

But something is brewing in my brain and wouldn’t let me fold myself quietly into sleep. This is very rare for me. I usually sleep easy.

I’m thinking about a project.

A story I want to tell.

And it’s getting louder.

Crashing against the fringes of all the other things right in front of me. Insistently asking me to untangle its possibility. It’s been creeping slowly around the edges of my thoughts for a little while. Tentatively connecting a dot here, a dot there. And now it’s roaring so loudly I can’t hear myself think.

I think I’m doomed.

To live this life always hungry. Always yearning. Always chasing these elusive maybes. Untangling these seams of unheard.  Driven.

So I’ll pour some words onto paper now and hope that’ll be enough to still the maybes for today.

Hope sleep is finding you more pliable.

xx

Get a REAL job #artslife

 

This life. These creative pursuits.

They are not my hobbies.

They are not something I enjoy doing and so choose to ‘find’ time for in my life.

 

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This is my life.

My career.

My journey.

Sometimes, my obsession.

And absolutely my ‘real’ job.

 

And it’s evolving all the time.

 

I’ve spent a lot of time this year trying to articulate what and why I do. Trying to pin the words to paper. Trying to find words that make sense and ring true. For me and for everyone else.

 

The other YSPers and I have given time at every residency trying to articulate our missions over the last 12months. The ‘why’ driving what we each do. We’ve brainstormed together and solo. We’ve written and spoken draft after draft after draft. And I’ve struggled. Really struggled to pin to paper what it is I do and why.

 

For anyone who lives a creative life or a life that’s ‘offbeat’ in any other way, you know why you do it and what it is. And you know how hard it is to explain to everyone else what it is and why you do it. It’s something that has no words because it needs no words for you. It just makes sense (you think). It’s what you do and who you are. So when someone asks you to put it into words, it’s pretty darn difficult.

 

This year I’ve played with and explored various mission and vision statement iterations, including:

 

• I want to be the kind of person that offers something meaningful to the world. The kind of person who experiences life as frightening, confusing and painful but as deeply, deeply precious and worth my effort.

 

• Our mission is to create systematic change in how people think about failure. For us that means making quiet trouble with everyone we meet by interrogating and responding to rage inducing situations through an artistic lens.

 

• My personal mission is to continue striving for opportunities for myself and others to claim our sorrows as a journey to joy and to create space in our lives to sing our heartsongs with passion, hope and courage.

 

• We empower and enable regional communities to reshape and claim personal and civic narratives using an artistic lens.

 

• We challenge communities and individuals to reclaim failure as a crucial ingredient in resilience and joy.

 

• Our mission is to challenge and inspire young people in regional communities to use to arts as a mechanism for social change and empowerment. As part of this mission we also support regional communities to support and foster the skills and aspirations of their young people.

 

• My mission is to use the arts to be an agent of change – to inspire, support and provoke individuals and communities to actively shape the world around them for the better.

 

• I bring together professional artists, doers, thinkers and change makers to work with young people as mentors and provocateurs on community arts projects to unlock their possibility.

 

All of these things are partly or wholly true, but still none of them quite sit right. They feel too full of jargon or they rest on old ideas about myself (and how I work) so don’t capture the space I’m really in RIGHT NOW.

 

At ATF last year OK Radio asked why Theatre?

“Theatre people are all very nice people […] And I wonder if that is our problem,” asked Liska. “We choose an art form where we can sit next to each other and touch each other and we’re very good people.”

“Revolutions are not often caused by polite people, or good people,” said Cooper. “Sometimes we wonder if we have to stop making art to get something done. I really like art but I have a lot of questions about what it’s good for and if it’s needed.”

–        Kelly Cooper and Pavol Liska (OK Radio, Nature Theater of Oklahoma)

 

Last month during Future Present, surrounded by a bunch of socially aware artists, again this idea. Why art? Is that the best use of your time, does it actually achieve your mission? Or would you be better off using your time as an activist, a social worker, a teacher, a farmer?

 

And going deeper throughout YSP, talking about ‘impact’ – how do you measure it? What impact does your work actually have (and is it the impact you want to have)? How can you have the greatest impact with the limited hours in your life?

 

I care about many things. I believe in changing the world. As more than just rhetoric. I believe I have a responsibility to leave the world better than I found it. To use whatever small skills and talents I have to help. I love teaching and advocating and activating and making and creating. I am driven to do many things. I am also a parent, a lover, a daughter, a sister, a friend. My time is limited and precious.

 

And so, I toss these questions around. Over and over. In my head. In my mouth. On paper. I spin myself around in circles. The questioning is hard, partly because there is no one answer. And there is no clear answer. And mostly because no one can answer for me, what it means for ME, only I can discover that.

 

Last night I stumbled across a free ebook titled “Making Your Life As An Artist” and though I didn’t relate to every single word, the book as a whole REALLY resonated with me.

 

There were moments when I read a paragraph and realised I was holding my breath, caught in these words someone else had pinned to paper and how they so neatly echo words I’ve circled around and around and come back to in my own heart.

 

“Just like scientists, we begin with a question, something we don’t know.

We go into our studio and research that question.

(…)

Just as in science, a negative result is as important as a positive result.

Finding that a certain drug does not cure cancer is a crucial discovery. And an artistic experiment that fails produces important information.

When you are working beyond what is known, when you are questioning assumptions that haven’t been questioned, you generate a lot of useful failure.

Failure in science and art is a sign that the process is working.

(….)

…diverse ecosystems
 are more resilient, more able to respond to disturbance. The same is true of culture. Diversity of thought and imagination makes us more culturally resilient, more able to thrive in times of great change.

– Andrew Simonet (Making Life As an Artist, ebook)

 

Many things that had me nodding along. Catching my breath. Gripping the edge of the computer. But perhaps most of all this:

 

Artists have a lot of effects on the world: our work impacts education, citizenship, multiculturalism, urban renewal. But those are effects of our role; they are not the role.

Our role is to ask rigorous and reckless cultural questions, do our research, and share the results. When we do our role well, all kinds of other things happen.

– Andrew Simonet (Making Life As an Artist, ebook)

 

And so last night I sat and I wrote exactly in the moment who I am and what I’m doing (or trying to do). The last seven or so years of thinking, dreaming and doing coalescing and coming together to pin some words to paper.

 

It’s not finished, because it’ll never be finished. I’m evolving and growing all the time. And that’s okay. It’s G.E. for right now.

 

Transparency and sharing the journey publicly (to be of benefit to others) is important to me. So, you can read the words I finally pinned to paper last night where they’ve become my new ‘about’ section here.

 

I’m feeling good. It’s nice.

 

Moving #writeme30

This week’s #writeme30 photo has been supplied by the beautiful and super talented Lynden Nicholls. Lynden was our movement teacher every Wednesday during 1^st year Acting at the Ballarat Academy of Performing Arts back in 2006.

I loved movement class – I’d easily say it was my favourite class that year – and Lynden was a fabulous teacher who really suited my learning style. And I love that through the power of facebook we’ve stayed connected and I get to see little updates from Lynden popping up in my newsfeed every now and again.

I have really bittersweet feelings about my year at BAPA,

I loved it.

I loved the classes, the community and the learnings I was having but I was also personally (and with family) going through a really difficult time, which led to me leaving at the end of first year. I continue to feel that my performance studies are an unfinished business – and yet leaving led me to some amazing opportunities and experiences in the Riverland (not to mention meeting the beautiful man who is now my husband) so I certainly don’t regret leaving, but it was difficult and I do feel like I lost a fantastic learning opportunity and community by not completing my studies.

*bittersweet *still trying to articulate what it means to me *sigh

With all of those connections and memories these are the words that spring to mind when looking at the photo Lynden sent me for this week’s post:

• Ripples
• Movement
• Life
• Moving on
• Transparent
• Vulnerable
• Skin
• Flowing
• Earth
• Connection
• River
• Home
• Hope
• Promise

The Photo:

                              Photo supplied by Lynden Nicholls

The Response – Moving:

These ripples behind eyes,

the sting.

The shift.

Into,

weighted skin,

waiting dreams,

The hall is too large for the small group that waits there fidgeting. Some familiar. Some new. The walls catch our words and bounce them into smallness as we greet the familiar. The new shift self-consciously on the edges of our smaller group within a group. Jessica, our facilitator arrives in a wave of sound and energy, pulling us into the comfort of a workshop circle. We play a name game. We laugh at ourselves. We twist our bodies into shapes. And then.

A new exercise. A movement moment. Find a space by yourself. Feel the music. Respond. Don’t censor. If you find yourself in close proximity to another person, allow yourself to be changed by them. Move with your whole self.

Jessica dims the lights.

Fingers, dig in. Deep into this skin I wait in. My head bowed. Breaths shallow, but ready. Ready. I’ve always been ready. The sound opens beneath my feet. Welcomes my limbs to unfold. My feet to spring into empty space. Tied to a beat I cannot hear. A fear I cannot reveal.

Bodies move beside me. Around me. In the darkness between our beating hearts. We are lost. We are found.

The lights blast on again. The music ends. Chests heave. A woman’s voice speaks. Jessica. I do not hear her. I hear only the sound of the hairs on my arms reaching towards HIM.

The group comes together again into that safe circle. Still huffing. Not unfit, but so terribly, deeply, painfully open. None of us can look at each other. We are too open. Instead we focus our energy onto the floor, in the centre of the circle and fill it with our fears. Jessica’s voice is subdued. She feels our energy and how fragile it is.

“I’ll see you all next week. You’re all beautiful. Be kind to yourself.”

We all exit out into the cold night air. The other bodies drift off. To their own spaces. Homes lit ready for them.

HE lingers.

We stand awkwardly by the bumper of my car, words tumbling easily into each other’s hands. Our bodies are awkward. Our words are perfect. We skin history. We skim the future. Weave possibilities unknowingly. Lose hours. Eventually fallen silent in the face of what we find.

HIS fingertip brushes my arm as he turns away to head home. Deliberate, but gently.

My arm stings all the way home.

I lay in bed.

Thoughts.

Floating. Stinging. Moving.

 

*This particular piece is entirely fictional though it was inspired by some real life experiences. *cough* Nic Tubb…

** I will be a few weeks short of photos so if you would like to submit a photo for me to respond to, you would be very welcome to. Email it to me at: pressurelandsATmeDOTcome

** Note – #writeme30 posts are published ‘as is’ without any editing or curating as the project is about exploring my responses to the photographs supplied. Some posts may plant the seeds for future writing projects but each post itself should be considered a raw and unfinished piece.

 

 

 

 

 

Rage of the Heart #writeme30

 

Earlier this week I attended the launch of a very special book about my little friend Kaitie.

The photo for this week’s #writeme30 post has been supplied by Kaitie’s mum Kimberlee Francis, one of my very dear friends and shows Kaitie and Kim during one of their many hospital visits.

Kaitie is only 9 but has endured more than 30 operations as a result of the rare genetic disorder she was born with. She was born with Mucopolysaccharidoses Type 1, one of a group of incurable diseases known as MPS, which can cause intellectual impairment, eye and hearing problems, bone and joint malformation and heart and breathing difficulties. You can read more about MPS on the MPS Australia website here. And more about the launch of Kaitie the Courageous here, plus listen to Kim’s moving speech as part of the launch:

This week’s #writeme30 post:

The Photo:

                                            Photo supplied by Kim Francis

The Response – Rage of the Heart:

 

I will hold you.

With my hands shaking.

Eyes raking white walls.

Lips straining cold sheets.

Palms caught in held time.

Fingertips glimpsed and softened.

Ready.

 

I will hold you.

In these new hours. Fresh and quiet.

The edge of falling again.

Your fingers will curl in mine.

I will squeeze back.

My heart will hang itself on the back of the door.

And beg my dreams to tangle into your sleeping hair.

I will find myself there.

The echo. The possibility.

The singing sigh of a tomorrow me.

 

I will hold you.

With smiles staining my tears.

With tears biting my smiles.

 

I will hold you.

Today. Tonight. Tomorrow.

I will hold you.

*

 

And here’s Amaya modeling Kaitie the Courageous at the launch:

You can purchase a copy of Kaitie the Courageous via the MPS Society by emailing info@mpssociety.org.au or head to their website here. You can also read more about Kaitie’s journey here.

PS – If you happen to be getting married anywhere in South Australia. Kim also happens to be an ace marriage celebrant (she married us earlier this year in March on the stage of the Chaffey Theatre) – go ahead and like her facebook page here.

 

 

Sydney Silence #poetry

Softly

Fall

On skylights

On tall ships

On hair curled

Straightened

Softened with longing

Pitch your voice to me

Raindance your inner song.

Crack to Kevin with #singsorrow

So last month the Paper Ensemble team packed up the car and headed off on the 15 hour drive to Newcastle for 4 days.

Paper Ensemble is made up of 4 young and emerging artists (in various disciplines) from the Riverland in South Australia and we were taking a new project called Sing Me Your Sorrow to the Crack Theatre Festival.

Sing Me Your Sorrow is a participatory installation/space exploration. Inspired by the PostSecret community and The Obliteration Room by artist Yayoi Kusama and the need we all have to share our hurts with someone who will listen.

Sing Me Your Sorrow invites the audience to write/draw their story of sorrow into the space our artistic team claims. Over the course of an afternoon/day/month, the artistic team then responds to those stories with a series of short films and a unique song of sorrow. We took Sing Me Your Sorrow to Crack Theatre Festival (as part of This Is Not Art)  to test the concept and define the boundaries before pitching Sing Me Your Sorrow across regional South Australia in 2014/2015.

You can read more about the impetus behind the work on ‘Inside Crack’ with a lovely article written by Cass Ramsay here.

The heart of the project is asking people to share their stories and then responding back to those stories musically and through film/photography. Fabulous young musician Jess Weidenhofer and I worked together on crafting a musical response which we presented in a casual share back on the Saturday of Crack alongside photographic response from Nic Tubb and Brianna Obst. We’re still in the process of capturing the footage and collating the digital responses from the weekend to share online but in the meantime, we bring you ‘Ode to Kevin’.

The Ode to Kevin was created on Sunday night at the conclusion of Crack before our team fell into bed for the 15 hour drive home. During the Sing Me Your Sorrow installation someone had written ‘Kevin is awesome’ on the table and we thought this was a fitting way to finish the weekend.

We had a fabulous time and learned a lot about ourselves as artists and the future of the project, which we are keen to develop for presentation across regional SA. If you’d like to support future presentation get in touch paperensemble AT gmail DOT com, we’d love to hear from you. We’re looking for spaces, local support to engage audiences, financial support to pay artists, accommodation and installation materials.

You can also see some photos from the project on the Paper Ensemble facebook here.

A Papermoon to see by #ATF2013

Inspiration is a compelling pursuit. (….) We can’t see the fox and maybe we never will. But we know the idea is there and well keep chasing. ATF is an opportunity to chase the tail. – Alicia Talbot

The Australian Theatre Forum ‘sold out’ before the program was released. We didn’t know what the days would hold but each of us trusted (or wildly hoped) that it would be worth a few days (or week for some) out of our work and other lives. Alicia Talbot has curated the program being presented to us and I don’t know how they all got in my head but gee #maketrouble

The outlaws and the boundary riders are the people who make it happen – Aicia Talbot

ATF in Alicia’s words is an opportunity to find the space to have the burning conversations. She was also impressed that people managed to not punch anyone this morning (during the Q and A after David Milroy’s keynote)

Alicia wished us the “best of half finished conversations“.

And then, and then. We had the pleasure of meeting Ria Papermoon from Papermoon Puppet Theatre. Ria is the founder and Co-Artistic director of Papermoon Puppet Theatre and visiting Australia as an international cultural visitor (via DFAT).

Like David, Ria’s spirit is something I could never hope to capture here. Her words were warm, welcoming and with the slightest hint of endearing nervousness.

I think some of you may have been to Indonesia. Like Bali. But you should ‘click’ come a bit further. – Ria Papermoon

Papermoon didn’t start as a puppet company, it was originally a free studio for children to engage with visual and performing arts until everything changed when over 1000 people died in serious earthquakes. People kept their kids close to them and stopped coming and Papermoon searched for and transitioned into something else.

Starting out with very simple object based puppets (found objects with eyes on them), Ria and her husband, the Co-Artistic Director of Papermoon

He is my husband so he has no choice (laughs) – Ria Papermoon

reached out for something more. In Indonesia, Ria explained there isn’t really a formal system or training to ‘become’ an artist, it’s very self identified “I’m artist. I’m artist. I’m artist. Just like that. ”

People thought Papermoon’s puppetry would be shadow puppetry (the traditional form in Indonesia) but Papermoon started exploring something different, something contemporary and something that no one else was doing in Indonesia. In the truest sense of DIY, Ria and her husband (and others that came along for the ride) did (and do) everything and had to learn from scratch how to make and build the puppets they wanted to create. They quite literally just started Googling things and giving everything a go.

During the process they discovered that puppet theatre could be for adults too and could explore darker territory so they’ve making work now for both children and adults.

(Worked with puppeteers from Germany and Australia including Snuff Puppets) Exchange learning that puppetry is not just for kids. Shakespeare dark gloomy stuff. Is this puppet theatre? Oh great, we can do this. – Ria Papermoon

Indonesia also has limited funding available and what is there is difficult to access so Papermoon has to find other ways to make things happen. They embody ‘doers’.

There is no other puppet company like us, because we can jump around and do whatever we want. But it’s also sad because I want to be sitting in the audience and seeing other things. – Ria Papermoon

Ria spoke about some of the specific shows they’ve created which Jane Howard covers in depth in her blog here so I won’t reiterate. Like David, earlier in the day Ria was equally inspiring, although in a wholly different way. Her willingness to ‘not know’ and to just try (and the willingness to admit it!) and the impressive list of collaborators they’ve worked with from across the globe struck a chord with me.

We learnt from the almighty Internet and google. We don’t know how it will work on stage. We just try. (…) It was sold out. – Ria Papermoon

I  love the idea of cross cultural collaborations but am scared that really I’m just a bit too boring/will say something/am too inexperienced/etc/etc/etc. Ria really highlighted the value of residencies and reaching out to potential collaborators and mentors which was a pertinent reminder for me.

For us Art is a medium to communicate with people. (…) We’ve survived until now because of the audience – Ria Papermoon

Also one of the Ria’s collaborators has been the fantastic Mr Ben Fox (the elusive fox from Alicia’s intro?) who is steering the ship for #RAA2014. Seriously cool.

Did I mention I’m writing #tinytwitterpoem (s) during #ATF2013? Inspired by Katie Keys #tinylittlepoems (aka Kate Larsen, Director Writers Vic) during Kumuwuki (when I was first ‘exposed’) and other events.

Ria inspired a number of #tinytwitterpoem (s), take a peek here. One of the lovely writers from the Riverland Creative Writing Group, which I facilitate has also joined in with her own #tinytwitterpoem. Yay!

DFAT Debunked (or not) at #ATF2013

Beverly Mercer from the Department of Foreign Affairs (DFAT) gave a quick overview of the Department’s Public Diplomacy program and most specifically how showing off Australian cultural content is part of the deal.

The essence of the session was really:

Are you doing something overseas? Or planning to? Talk to DFAT an talk to them early to hook in with other things that might be happening and leverage support of our Embassies and Public Diplomacy programs.

That was really the whole session. Oh and go explore the website for information about funding through DFAT or any of the councils, institutes and foundations that service particular exchanges as well as stalk priority areas. Take a look here.

Apps for the DFAT funding usually close in February with max grants up to $40,000. The sense I came away with from the session is that they are looking for tour ready products with ‘wow’ factor rather than grass roots exchanges, which is fine but just something to be aware of it you’re thinking of applying.

There is also a festival/showcase type program with a different focus country every year. Last year was OzFest in India. This year is Vietnam (with Bangarra as the key organisation opening the festival) and next year is Indonesia – hence Ria Papermoon as our cultural visitor at ATF.

Also for your future planning:

2015 – Turkey

2016 – Brazil

Take away messages from the session:

• If touring overseas get in touch with DFAT early so you can leverage the possibilities.
• They can put you in touch with their embassies and public diplomacy officers. People on the ground. Insider information. Local organisations to work with.
• Help with publicity though their own networks. Website, Facebook page and twitter to promote to. Contacts working in the same area, venues, local orgs etc.
• Pacific is a priority country. They get very few applications for there. Pacific islands ie. Solomon. Vanuatu.
• Note to self. Tell people what you’re doing because they do want to know what’s going on and they might be able to facilitate it.
• We talk about culture in terms of public diplomacy. Showcase excellence in Australian arts and culture.

 

While I was in the DFAT session. Jane Howard was sitting in with David Pledger here.

 

Don’t forget to follow #ATF2013 on twitter for live tweeting and opportunities to ask questions. It’s a full day tomorrow so there should be plenty of food for thought and all that.

The Hunger #willieverbegoodenough?

 

Psstt…..I put in an entry to SOYA this year.

Loads of other way more qualified and talented people have as well, so please go over and take a peek and support my entry so I don’t feel so small and alone….

 

Take a look here – http://www.soya.com.au/entrant/alysha-herrmann/

 

 

PS – Also don’t forget you can buy a copy of The Voices Project (here).